Picture Credit: Keith Colon
Before I can dive into music authentically there’s so much I need to shed.
I’m sharing this because I hope it will help you to see if there’s something you can let go of so that you can get back to enjoying the process of music making as well as your end results.
For example, when I was recording the Franck and Grieg sonatas with my mom, Frances Veri this summer, I had to let go of my defensive ego. I consciously told myself to “give up the fight and listen” in an accepting way. When I did this, I could feel the music going through my body and I could embrace the moment.
This is definitely not how I used to be. I used to be out of body when I played and it showed up as tension and nerves and I couldn’t play as well. I remember recording in New York, and I was filled with “egocentric molecules” –to quote Jean-Luc Ponty. My heart would pump fast but my arms wouldn’t move right. I’d get upset and not be able to articulate my thoughts to the other musicians. And even more frustrating, I couldn’t play how I wanted to play. I was stuck.
All of the work I’ve done on myself as a person helped me to approach this recording session differently. Shedding the defensive ego is a process. It’s part of who we are as humans. But going through it with awareness and acknowledging that one side of myself. Recognizing my “egocentric molecules” are being activated I can take a breath, get in my body and decide to give up the fight.. We had a great process. (Now we are waiting to get the take from the recording engineer!)
Check out this youtube snippet of our rehearsal:
All the best,
Michael
